Monday, November 16, 2009

For Whom the Bell Tolls

I might as well face it. For all the blog posts that swirl through my head, none of them actually make it here.

But why?

Is it a time issue? Perhaps. It's one thing to zone out on the screen here and there when you spend all day with one child, and you've got all kinds of hours left with him to make up for it. Two kids, on the other hand, has divided my attention to new dimensions, and I can't allow the computer to be baby number three. So this thing stays off unless I'm by myself.

Then again, it might be that I've simply lost my focus here. This started out as a semi-anonymous blog to process my opinions. As more and more friends in real life found their way here, I found myself curtailing certain topics, not wanting to step on toes. I'd sweat over my tact or lack thereof, and sometimes it was easier to say nothing at all.

After moving to a new town, I began more personal posts, since this was a great way to keep old friends updated about first days of school, holidays, Peter-isms. After awhile though, our empty baby books began to haunt me, so I vowed not to post anything more on here until I got caught up.

But really, I think it's more than that. Do you know what I really yearn for?

A pen and paper. Shopping for a pretty journal that no one sees but me. Sitting at my little desk in my sun-filled library, reading, writing, glancing occasionally at the squirrels in the front yard, sipping a coffee, communing with God.

I guess I'll leave this blog up for awhile, especially for those dozens of folks who want to know how to make a wool soaker out of a recycled sweater. But it's time for me to let go of it, and that feels really, really good.

Thanks to everyone who has read, posted, and made this a worthwhile endeavor for me.

4 comments:

Amy said...

I am sad to see it "go." I too miss pen and ink-sometimes I miss the journaling days. I've loved your blog, admired your decorating style, laughed with you and prayed for you. I miss you in real life too. Huge hugs...

TulipGirl said...

Miss your thoughts, btw. . .

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