I'm not talking about contraception. I'm talking about control: control over when my hoped-for next child is to be born.
If I got pregnant tomorrow, I'd be overjoyed. Conception is a miracle, and children are a blessing. Yet I'd also be panicked. Why? Well, if I got pregnant tomorrow, the baby would be due when Peter is 31 months old. It would be two months after we move to a new town. It would be due at a time when Peter might be thinking of potty training or perhaps even night weaning.
I take that back. Peter would never think of night weaning. But with a new baby on the way, I sure as heck would be. Would it be cruel to nightwean so soon after a major life-change like a move? Would we potty train so close to the birth of a baby, since everyone says that would make him revert?
I've just finished making a spreadsheet in which I charted the months to nightwean or potty train depending on various due dates. I can't decide whether it's better to just go ahead and make a bunch of huge life changes at once, getting it over in one blow, or dragging them out over a year.
Woman plans, God laughs. I know that I will laugh at myself in the morning. But I will still probably reference my spreadsheet.