Monday, July 21, 2008

She Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth

Below is a comment that I originally found here. This mother's observations explain why there are so few parenting books that I can 100% endorse.

We come to parenthood with individual personalities, with natural tendencies that can both help and harm our children. What one mom needs to hear might be the exact opposite of what another needs to know:

My oldest child was harmed by my application of GKGW materials (I wised up before my second child arrived), yet some of the godliest lay leaders in my church are huge fans of the Ezzo’s.

In trying to come to terms with this contradiction, I’ve come to the conclusion that part of the problem is an implicit assumption about evangelical mothers that underlies most of the Ezzo-type programs. The assumption seems to be that the typical mother is by nature a nurturing, extravert who is so overcome with warm, sentimental feelings for her children that she struggles to provide necessary structure, discipline, and boundaries. The moms in my church who swear by GKGW have personalities that trend in that direction.


I, on the other hand, as a result of both natural temperament and family of origin issues, struggle to nurture. I’m more of an introverted, intuitive, thinking type. I don’t struggle to provide structure and boundaries. For a mother like me, GKGW was a disaster.

1 comment:

A Line that I can Stand on said...

the only parenting book i 100% endorse and think you would too is How children Raise Parents.

Love it. miss you. had a hellacious day with H man. i swear it is not getting any easier and now M bites. leaving a post soon i think you will like. it is about camp. read this article now. so different from me.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/26/nyregion/26camp.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss