February 26, 2006
My newborn doesn't sleep.
Everyone told me this would be the easy time when you change him, feed him, and put him back to sleep in a neverending cycle in which the baby sleeps 14-22 hours.
Well, Peter would be happy to sleep 22 hours-- if it were in my arms. Instead, our cycle goes change him, feed him, put him down to sleep, and pick him up within 10 minutes because he is wailing.
I've tried changing his sleeping venue, warming his sheets, putting him down asleep, putting him down awake, feeding him longer, rocking him, swaddling him, not swaddling him, using the pacifier, not using the pacifier, and every combination of the above. (Update: If I had known then what I know now about how to wear my baby and safely sleep with him, you wouldn't be reading this...)
These few weeks have been the most challenging of my life. Most things until now I've felt I could accomplish with enough study or practice. This, on the other hand, is beyond intellectual or physical determination. It breaks my heart that the one thing in life I have not been able to "accomplish" involves the little boy I love so much. I just want to give him the basics: food, warmth, SLEEP.
Not to mention that Mama needs some rest too. She also needs to eat and get dressed and unload the dishwasher now and then. These things aren't happening.
So right now I'm in survival mode. I'm taking help from family and friends and seeking the advice of pediatricians. I have lowered my standards on things like whether or not my teeth get brushed. And I'm grateful that I cleared my calendar before the baby arrived.
What this does mean is that I'll need to take a little hiatus from keeping this journal. I plan to take off the month of March and return in April, hopefully with these sleep issues worked out.