I Want it Now! (Wk 4: TRYING TO CONCEIVE)

April 4, 2005

To Chart or Not to Chart...

That is the question. At least the question for this month.

The answer was simple at first. Track my body's signals and know when to do the baby dance. Know when ovulation took place. Know when to expect Aunt Flo-- and rejoice when she didn't show up.

What better way to feel in control? Isn't that what we all want in this b abymaking game?

When Mother Nature Says "Ha! Ha!"

How perfect charting would be, if God weren't trying to show me who's really in charge. It's not me.

My body gives me the same signals every day. Toward the end of last week, I had a few hints that maybe, just maybe ovulation was coming. All I needed was a spike in temperature to confirm it.

I did see some spikes in temp, but here's the thing: you can't get an accurate resting temp without keeping on basically the same sleep schedule. What has my sleep schedule been?

Day 1: Woke an hour early to catch a flight

Day 2: Woke up in a time zone two hours different

Day 3: Woke up at the normal hour-- after a very late night

Day 4: Daylight Savings

Day 5: Reached my bed at 3:00 a.m. after a delayed flight.

So have my high temps meant anything?

Mensa, Anyone?

My charting has turned into some sort of IQ test. "If Jane's temp was 97.6 on day 21, but she only had 4 hours of sleep, and on day 22 it was 97.6 but in two time zones over, and on 23 it was 97.9 but she had oysters for dinner, on what day did she ovulate?"

It makes me want to quit charting. The only thing that keeps me doing it is a lack of funds. Those pregnancy tests can get expensive, and without charting, I'd be taking one every few days.

Maybe I'll be able to get an accurate temp tomorrow. Just wait one more day, right? That's not a big deal, is it?

It is when your patience tank has a leak in it. I feel like the girl in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who races around screaming, "I want the world, I want the whole world... and I want it NOW!"

Is God trying to teach me something?