January 23, 2006
What do venus fly traps, Japanese fingertraps, and steel metal have in common? A resemblance to my cervix.
Not that I'm worried. At 39+ weeks, would you believe I am still comfortable? I want to shout it out to tall girls everywhere: it may not be fun towering over boys in the 7th grade, but height sure does come in handy when you're carrying a baby.
This physical ease makes it much easier to enjoy these last days-- or weeks-- of pregnancy. Every kick and wiggle still makes my spine tingle. I savor Tom's expressions when he feels the baby's hiccups.
I'm not even tired of my silhouette. I still moon over myself in the mirror, changing angles to admire my potbelly stove.
As Tom and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary, I didn't let a little (well, big) thing like my belly keep me out of my original wedding-night lingerie.
No kidding. When I purchased this ridiculously expensive pinoir, the boutique ladies showed me how the ties on the side of the robe and back of the gown could be loosened. They assured me that this flexibility would enable me to pull the set out every year regardless of how my body might "change shape."
Staring at the ensemble last week, I had my doubts. But darned if those women weren't right! Proud to fit into the gown and robe without so much as a strained seam, I positioned myself on the bed to wait for Tom.
First I sat with my back toward the door, since I look pretty normal from behind, but I felt like a cheeseball looking over my shoulder. Then I lied on my side, but that made me feel like a sea lion. So finally I just sat up with my legs tucked under me, looking like a giant marshmallow. Or the Michelin Man.
When Tom walked in the door, he laughed out loud. And continued laughing. And then laughed some more. When he burst into laughter at breakfast the next morning, I didn't have to ask.
The Big "I"
My only concern as I wait for this baby is that I do not want to be induced. It would be difficult to have the birth I envision with the intensity of contractions one feels on pitocin or with the limited mobility electronic fetal monitoring would bring.
When I meet with the doctor this week, I imagine he'll ask how long I want to wait things out. There is an increased rate in stillbirth beginning 10 days after the due date. However rare that may be, it scares me. Before then I'm willing to come in for any number of fetal stress tests. If there is a valid reason to induce other than "the baby might gain 3 ounces," I'll do it.
After I make my wishes known to the doctor, I'll have Tom schedule all remaining appointments, tests, and the induction deadline. I don't to know the induction date because it would
1) make me feel pressured to go into labor sooner, the stress of which would make it less likely to happen,
2) take away the fun and mystery of not knowing when the baby will be born, and
3) render me unable to sleep the night before the big day-- not a good way to enter labor and the night feedings to follow!
I plan to laze about these next few days or weeks in blissful ignorance, hoping to go into labor spontaneously.