Saturday, April 21, 2007

Sunday Brunch: Married with Children

I've decided to offer some soul food each Sunday. Though since I'm getting ready to leave town, this one's coming early:

“I love my husband more than my children,” the author said to Oprah’s shocked audience. I can’t remember the mother’s name or even the name of her book, but you know what? I agreed with her.

That was before Peter was born. Now, a couple years later, I…

Still agree. I’d put things another way, of course. I don’t quantify the love I have for family members—I love them all fully, in different ways—but I appreciate the woman’s point: the primary relationship in a family is that of the parents.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). My child has my genes, my blood, but I am not one flesh with him. I am one flesh with my husband, and he with me. One day Peter will leave our nest and, God willing, be made one flesh the person of his choosing to begin a family of his own.

Still, the immense caretaking a child requires can sometimes make my marriage feel secondary. Peter is with me twenty-four hours a day. Tom, on the other hand, usually works 80 hours a week. How do I meet my child’s needs while retaining the primacy of my marriage?

That’s a sticky wicket. Seriously. And I’m going to talk about it all this week.


Susie said...

I cannot believe an elderly man rolled down his window to give you attitude! Usually the old guys are the ones who realize that the worn baby has "the best seat in the house!" What a turkey. Blah!

Susie said...

OK, I meant to post that under the shopping entry. Duh.

Martha's World said...

We all get mommy-brain sometimes. You know, like showing up at Kindermusik for the non-existant 9:30 class?

btw, for the most part, I've found the same thing about elderly men: they are usually so sweet about the whole babywearing thing!